Some notes on stuttering
November 5th 2006 21:57
… the strangeness of not stuttering when I purchased a train ticket, the feeling that it wasn't up to me whether I stuttered or didn't, that it was an entirely accidental matter.
Not dissimilar to incontinence -- this physical function that you have no control over. But not so much frustration, helplessness, as distance from the self, dislocation -- the foreignness of the flesh, the removal from your body.
Similar, also, to a quote of Wittgenstein's, that you don't know you know a song till you've opened your mouth and sung.
I don't stutter when alone.
Because it is a different type of act. It is scratching your nose vs hopping, curling your toes vs licking your lips.
Language is said to obscure differences -- to pretend, for instance, that the word "is" has the same meaning in all contexts.
But speech also obscures differences -- pretends that the same word in all contexts is the same action.
Most stutterers have particular trouble saying their names, as well as their job title and the names of their family members.
There is the idea that negative associations particularly accumulate with common words, and, suggestively, the idea that some words are emotionally laden.
Are stutterers emotional people? Is it emotion that interferes with speech?
Is every word, for every person, "emotionally laden"? Is this what's going on when a word is spoken -- is it because of this that words have power? (Cf the idea that some words are button-pushing, emotive.)
Or is there some sort of web of significance in which words exist, such that words closer to one's identity have different or more powerful effects?
Most people who stutter expect stuttering, and have feelings like inferiority, inadequacy, social aversion -- whatever one gets from constant embarrassment and humiliation.
But what happens once you describe yourself to yourself, once you speak the word "stutterer"? ("Hello. I'm Billy and I'm an alcoholic.")
What does "stutterer" mean? Is it what Kasulis misleading calls an "existentialist" identity -- some sort of clear-cut scientific classification? Or is it an "essentialist" identity -- "I'm a female, so this is what females are like, and how they should behave."
And what are the further meanings and implications? -- What are the implications of understanding yourself as a pathological subject, as crippled, as a homosexual, as a Jew, or as mad? What happens once you do?
Does one think of stuttering as psychological or physical? As (by others or the self) something that should be allowed for or something to be ignored? As something to be pitied, as something that must be fixed, as something that it's your responsibility to correct, as something that it's your right to receive assistance for?
Is calling yourself a stutterer to admit you have a "condition" that's out of your control? Is it to consign yourself to, to label yourself as part of, a group? Is it to feel community with other stutterers, to re-form your self-image, to revolve your life around stuttering?
Not dissimilar to incontinence -- this physical function that you have no control over. But not so much frustration, helplessness, as distance from the self, dislocation -- the foreignness of the flesh, the removal from your body.
Similar, also, to a quote of Wittgenstein's, that you don't know you know a song till you've opened your mouth and sung.
***
I don't stutter when alone.
Because it is a different type of act. It is scratching your nose vs hopping, curling your toes vs licking your lips.
Language is said to obscure differences -- to pretend, for instance, that the word "is" has the same meaning in all contexts.
But speech also obscures differences -- pretends that the same word in all contexts is the same action.
***
Most stutterers have particular trouble saying their names, as well as their job title and the names of their family members.
There is the idea that negative associations particularly accumulate with common words, and, suggestively, the idea that some words are emotionally laden.
Are stutterers emotional people? Is it emotion that interferes with speech?
Is every word, for every person, "emotionally laden"? Is this what's going on when a word is spoken -- is it because of this that words have power? (Cf the idea that some words are button-pushing, emotive.)
Or is there some sort of web of significance in which words exist, such that words closer to one's identity have different or more powerful effects?
***
Most people who stutter expect stuttering, and have feelings like inferiority, inadequacy, social aversion -- whatever one gets from constant embarrassment and humiliation.
But what happens once you describe yourself to yourself, once you speak the word "stutterer"? ("Hello. I'm Billy and I'm an alcoholic.")
What does "stutterer" mean? Is it what Kasulis misleading calls an "existentialist" identity -- some sort of clear-cut scientific classification? Or is it an "essentialist" identity -- "I'm a female, so this is what females are like, and how they should behave."
And what are the further meanings and implications? -- What are the implications of understanding yourself as a pathological subject, as crippled, as a homosexual, as a Jew, or as mad? What happens once you do?
Does one think of stuttering as psychological or physical? As (by others or the self) something that should be allowed for or something to be ignored? As something to be pitied, as something that must be fixed, as something that it's your responsibility to correct, as something that it's your right to receive assistance for?
Is calling yourself a stutterer to admit you have a "condition" that's out of your control? Is it to consign yourself to, to label yourself as part of, a group? Is it to feel community with other stutterers, to re-form your self-image, to revolve your life around stuttering?
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Comment by Damo
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
I often find that it's easier to control stuttering when you have a captive audience -- as when you're giving a speech, or, perhaps, when you're behind the mike of a talkshow...
Also, if you adopt a different voice -- say, a different accent -- that can kill the stutter. And it may be that your friend puts on a different voice for the radio.
Comment by Shani
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Whether it ever gets rewired might be questionable. I mean, you learn techniques to control it, but maybe it'll always be there.
But there's no doubt that these techniques are effective in controlling (but not eliminating) stuttering. For instance, one thing that seems to trigger stuttering is variation of syllable length. If you have a short then a long syllable, say. So, traditional stuttering treatment would involve speaking each syllable in time with a metronome -- a regular, steady beat.
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Interesting post...
Humour me (and excuse my ignorance), but do you stutter when you think before typing .... or is it only when you try to push the thought through the neuro-net to the voal processing section...?
Thanks
Lilla...
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Basically -- no; in my mind's voice there is never any stuttering; and even when I'm stuttering badly while talking to people, it's perfectly clear what the word is in my head. At this point, the standard thing that stutterers will do is word-avoid. So, it's a sort of everyday humiliation not to be able to go into a shop and ask for the items you actually want -- you have to get something that's easier to pronounce.
And no stuttering while typing either, neither in thought nor in speech, though I do read aloud -- several times -- as I type and after I've typed.
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
Thanks for clearing that up for me Adrian...it fascinates my scientific sensibilities...
Lilla...
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
I will return...
L
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog