The regret test
August 14th 2006 17:32
Hindsight is 20/20 -- in hindsight you see clearly. "You'll be sorry later." Guilt and regret are painful, to be avoided in themselves -- but you also avoid them because they're signs of mistakes. You realize what you should have done, and what you shouldn't. Before you scull that bottle of vodka, ask yourself, how are you going to feel tomorrow? Use that to decide.
It's very natural for regret to extend beyond vodka -- to slabs of life, or to a lifetime. What will you regret in five years? ten years? your old age? Or what will you regret lying on your death bed? People think these questions are significant. And they will use the imagined answers to guide their choices. They will say, for instance: "The times I regretted most were the opportunities I let slip -- the things I didn't try, more than the things I did." And they will want to say, with Sinatra and the Platters: "Regrets? [Laugh.] I've had a few… But then again, too few to mention."
Are they wrong in doing so?
How reliable is the regret test? And how practical? Try to apply it, and try to apply it consistently, and immediately all sorts of questions will open up.
-- When you're making a decision, why should regret have any weighting at all -- and, if it should have a weighting, what weighting?
-- Does regret really give you insight, or is it simply another emotion, such that present satisfaction is sometimes worth future regret?
-- Doesn't regret simply depend on your mood, state of mind, etc? Doesn't it vary from moment to moment?
-- What degree of regret is significant? -- for we regret many things -- perhaps every choice is mixed regret and gladness.
-- At what point does the regret test get applied -- tomorrow? in ten years? on your death bed? And how do you balance the regret you'll feel tomorrow against the regret on your death bed (which is worth more, which should guide you more)?
-- Is it an "old age fallacy" that the good life should be judged from the point of view of dying you? -- who might or might not have Alzheimer's, and who'll certainly be a different person, with different values.
-- Can't a moment of ecstasy be worth a lifetime of misery, even if you don't remember the moment?
-- And is regret whole life or complete life? What exactly does the regret test test?
These are difficult questions, and they appear to detract from the usefulness of the regret test. But there's something I want tentatively to suggest.
What if whole life and complete life were both attempts at "rationalizations"? That is, they were attempts at systematic order. Adopting either of them would give you a way to proceed and benchmarks to judge against. But it would remain that they were external structures -- purposes imposed on life rather than found within it.
And what if regret was raw data -- raw data for deciding good and bad, right and wrong? Perhaps the regret came from genes, or conditioning, or magical act of free will. But the fact would be, that it was there.
In such a case, regret would be what you fit into the rationalization -- it could be called in support of whole life or complete life, but would exist prior to either. And there would be no reason it would be easily fittable, and that all the above questions would be answerable.
In such a case, the regret test would be impossible to use, unreliable and impractical. And yet, it would also be necessary.
It's very natural for regret to extend beyond vodka -- to slabs of life, or to a lifetime. What will you regret in five years? ten years? your old age? Or what will you regret lying on your death bed? People think these questions are significant. And they will use the imagined answers to guide their choices. They will say, for instance: "The times I regretted most were the opportunities I let slip -- the things I didn't try, more than the things I did." And they will want to say, with Sinatra and the Platters: "Regrets? [Laugh.] I've had a few… But then again, too few to mention."
Are they wrong in doing so?
How reliable is the regret test? And how practical? Try to apply it, and try to apply it consistently, and immediately all sorts of questions will open up.
-- When you're making a decision, why should regret have any weighting at all -- and, if it should have a weighting, what weighting?
-- Does regret really give you insight, or is it simply another emotion, such that present satisfaction is sometimes worth future regret?
-- Doesn't regret simply depend on your mood, state of mind, etc? Doesn't it vary from moment to moment?
-- What degree of regret is significant? -- for we regret many things -- perhaps every choice is mixed regret and gladness.
-- At what point does the regret test get applied -- tomorrow? in ten years? on your death bed? And how do you balance the regret you'll feel tomorrow against the regret on your death bed (which is worth more, which should guide you more)?
-- Is it an "old age fallacy" that the good life should be judged from the point of view of dying you? -- who might or might not have Alzheimer's, and who'll certainly be a different person, with different values.
-- Can't a moment of ecstasy be worth a lifetime of misery, even if you don't remember the moment?
-- And is regret whole life or complete life? What exactly does the regret test test?
These are difficult questions, and they appear to detract from the usefulness of the regret test. But there's something I want tentatively to suggest.
What if whole life and complete life were both attempts at "rationalizations"? That is, they were attempts at systematic order. Adopting either of them would give you a way to proceed and benchmarks to judge against. But it would remain that they were external structures -- purposes imposed on life rather than found within it.
And what if regret was raw data -- raw data for deciding good and bad, right and wrong? Perhaps the regret came from genes, or conditioning, or magical act of free will. But the fact would be, that it was there.
In such a case, regret would be what you fit into the rationalization -- it could be called in support of whole life or complete life, but would exist prior to either. And there would be no reason it would be easily fittable, and that all the above questions would be answerable.
In such a case, the regret test would be impossible to use, unreliable and impractical. And yet, it would also be necessary.
| 73 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
subscribe to this blog