On being a touring tourist
October 25th 2006 03:50
When you’re in a line or a group, most of your attention is on the tour leader or your family or friends or the person in front or behind you or on not slowing people down. You become engaged in the task set you and you forget to enjoy yourself. Your world tunnel-narrows.
… trying not to block cameras, trying not to get pickpocketed, trying not to get hit by cars, trying not to unwittingly breach laws or customs, giving a head-to-toe to all the foreign women, navigating crowds, keeping the group together, and not bumping into or tripping over or stepping on or discomforting anyone.
Your mental bandwidth is already spent.
Can you listen to all the audio tours, read all the plaques, absorb all the guidebooks? Do you even have enough time to see what’s around you, as your tour director pushes you to meet the next deadline, rushes you through the galleries?
If you read the subtitles, often you miss the film.
On all his travels, all he could find was home, arranged in different configurations.
The details are what catch the imagination.
And just because thousands of tourists ah’ed at this, doesn’t mean I’ll as much as stare…
Once someone takes control of when you can pee, you expend considerable mental energy on the problem -- when is the next stop, should I queue now or should I risk it, will eating that chocolate dehydrate me, how much should I drink, etc.
Travel does funny things to your bowels -- you’re incontinent, then you’re constipated -- it’s the unfamiliar food, the dehydration, the irregularity, the tight money belts, the vibrations on the bus. One day you’re up and another you’re down.
The people you meet. Sophisticates in one room, and, from the other, “I’m not in the mood to get fucked up tonight, eh.”
If you want to buy, never buy from the first shop you see, never buy from the shops your tour guide takes you to, and certainly never buy anywhere near tourist crowds.
In approaching an alien culture, you think about origins, causes, rationales. Where did this place name come from, why is the train system organised like this, why does the architecture have this feature...
You think in terms of functionality and efficiency of achieving an objective: "This is a stupid system", "This is brilliant". Tocqueville's book was quite natural -- it's quite natural to contemplate the differences from home, to wonder which is better, and to try to dream up a third alternative that is best.
As a tourist, you cling to the little knowledge you have, and to your money, like talismans to protect you. You are so adrift. You are comforted enormously by familiarity, stability, people who speak English, and more than one night in the same hotel.
As a tourist, you float in an imaginary sea -- British police hats, French cabaret, Italian gelato and pizza -- the official discourse in terms of which the collective mind of the tourism industry identifies itself, explains itself.
You think of interconnections, and the cumulative productions of bigger pictures. You're looking to grasp and summarize and simplify.
You understand the culture in terms of symbols, and the people in terms of types.
The very geography of the country becomes landmarks, as you're shuttled between this cathedral and that palace.
… trying not to block cameras, trying not to get pickpocketed, trying not to get hit by cars, trying not to unwittingly breach laws or customs, giving a head-to-toe to all the foreign women, navigating crowds, keeping the group together, and not bumping into or tripping over or stepping on or discomforting anyone.
Your mental bandwidth is already spent.
Can you listen to all the audio tours, read all the plaques, absorb all the guidebooks? Do you even have enough time to see what’s around you, as your tour director pushes you to meet the next deadline, rushes you through the galleries?
***
If you read the subtitles, often you miss the film.
***
On all his travels, all he could find was home, arranged in different configurations.
***
The details are what catch the imagination.
***
And just because thousands of tourists ah’ed at this, doesn’t mean I’ll as much as stare…
***
Once someone takes control of when you can pee, you expend considerable mental energy on the problem -- when is the next stop, should I queue now or should I risk it, will eating that chocolate dehydrate me, how much should I drink, etc.
***
Travel does funny things to your bowels -- you’re incontinent, then you’re constipated -- it’s the unfamiliar food, the dehydration, the irregularity, the tight money belts, the vibrations on the bus. One day you’re up and another you’re down.
***
The people you meet. Sophisticates in one room, and, from the other, “I’m not in the mood to get fucked up tonight, eh.”
***
If you want to buy, never buy from the first shop you see, never buy from the shops your tour guide takes you to, and certainly never buy anywhere near tourist crowds.
***
In approaching an alien culture, you think about origins, causes, rationales. Where did this place name come from, why is the train system organised like this, why does the architecture have this feature...
You think in terms of functionality and efficiency of achieving an objective: "This is a stupid system", "This is brilliant". Tocqueville's book was quite natural -- it's quite natural to contemplate the differences from home, to wonder which is better, and to try to dream up a third alternative that is best.
***
As a tourist, you cling to the little knowledge you have, and to your money, like talismans to protect you. You are so adrift. You are comforted enormously by familiarity, stability, people who speak English, and more than one night in the same hotel.
***
As a tourist, you float in an imaginary sea -- British police hats, French cabaret, Italian gelato and pizza -- the official discourse in terms of which the collective mind of the tourism industry identifies itself, explains itself.
You think of interconnections, and the cumulative productions of bigger pictures. You're looking to grasp and summarize and simplify.
You understand the culture in terms of symbols, and the people in terms of types.
The very geography of the country becomes landmarks, as you're shuttled between this cathedral and that palace.
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