Medical cyborgs
September 8th 2006 08:38
Lazy today, so going to post something I wrote a while ago.
* Nothing focuses one’s attention like pain. It has a consuming quality; and, if you’re an onlooker, it’s this that it can be hard to empathize with, even if you have loads of sympathy. One forgets how the smallest, thinnest pain can make it difficult to think or speak clearly -- how your very senses are dulled, so that what you see or hear won’t register or will register weakly. And yet, when watching movies, blood alone is often neither here nor there -- to feel something, we want permanent wounds, mortal injuries.
* Hours later, the pain can be still an awareness at the back of your mind, like additional information using up the bandwidth. You mightn’t realize how much of a relief it is to be free until you’re free.
* When you’re hooked up to machines, one of the instincts, surely, is to rip them out, to tear out all these needles and tubes, tear off the bandages and clamps. They’re foreign objects, they intrude into your flesh; and some people don’t even like scabs. But after a while, it may be that you resign yourself, you resign yourself to weakness, for instance, to being looked after, to being a dolly. Your body is no longer your own: it’s objective material. It may be that there’s a womblike comfort. And it may be that you don’t feel human, and it takes effort, quite apart from any actual physical difficulty, to speak with personality.
* There can be an odd sensation of being extended, or grown, or connected more fully to the world around you. You’re in a strange relationship with these inanimate objects. That machine over there beeps my heart, that machine feeds me oxygen, that machine drips into my blood... The person in some sense is sprawled across everything they’re attached to; they’re the nerve centre of the system; they’re not self-contained, they’re not distinct from it.
* The feeling of being pathetic is hard to avoid. You can only move slowly, and within defined limits, for fear of upsetting the needles and tubes. And you can’t do a damn thing about it. At your most pathetic, you’re stripped of your voice, and it takes too much energy to smile, and all you’ve got to communicate with are your eyes, and if you don’t want to give in to tiredness and self-pity, the best your eyes can do is say what a funny, funny situation I’m in, what a strange place to be.
***
* Nothing focuses one’s attention like pain. It has a consuming quality; and, if you’re an onlooker, it’s this that it can be hard to empathize with, even if you have loads of sympathy. One forgets how the smallest, thinnest pain can make it difficult to think or speak clearly -- how your very senses are dulled, so that what you see or hear won’t register or will register weakly. And yet, when watching movies, blood alone is often neither here nor there -- to feel something, we want permanent wounds, mortal injuries.
* Hours later, the pain can be still an awareness at the back of your mind, like additional information using up the bandwidth. You mightn’t realize how much of a relief it is to be free until you’re free.
* When you’re hooked up to machines, one of the instincts, surely, is to rip them out, to tear out all these needles and tubes, tear off the bandages and clamps. They’re foreign objects, they intrude into your flesh; and some people don’t even like scabs. But after a while, it may be that you resign yourself, you resign yourself to weakness, for instance, to being looked after, to being a dolly. Your body is no longer your own: it’s objective material. It may be that there’s a womblike comfort. And it may be that you don’t feel human, and it takes effort, quite apart from any actual physical difficulty, to speak with personality.
* There can be an odd sensation of being extended, or grown, or connected more fully to the world around you. You’re in a strange relationship with these inanimate objects. That machine over there beeps my heart, that machine feeds me oxygen, that machine drips into my blood... The person in some sense is sprawled across everything they’re attached to; they’re the nerve centre of the system; they’re not self-contained, they’re not distinct from it.
* The feeling of being pathetic is hard to avoid. You can only move slowly, and within defined limits, for fear of upsetting the needles and tubes. And you can’t do a damn thing about it. At your most pathetic, you’re stripped of your voice, and it takes too much energy to smile, and all you’ve got to communicate with are your eyes, and if you don’t want to give in to tiredness and self-pity, the best your eyes can do is say what a funny, funny situation I’m in, what a strange place to be.
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Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
There was a time, not too long ago, when I was poor enough that I submitted myself as a subject for medical experiments.
... long story, and not altogether as dodgy as it might sound, but it did involve surgical procedures.
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
I hope it paid well...
So like do you have super powers now?
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Maybe I do...
The medical experiment was basically just taking an over-the-counter drug for two months, but they wanted to scrape a bit of my lung for the results.
So I had two procedures where they stuck some hose up my nose and into my lung.
I don't know if I was conscious during it. The anaesthetic they gave me wipes the memory. So it's a little bit like that movie Paycheck, where Ben Affleck goes and does some job for a couple of months, and the corporation wipes his memory afterwards.
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
It lets me expand my chest to larger dimensions, but the trade-off is I can't hold my breath as long.
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
So do they wipe your memory because they dont want you to remember how bad it was having a pipe up your nose that went into your lungs or just a conveniant side effect of the anasthetic?
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
Actually, speaking of superpowers, I did have one that I used in that situation.
I found that when I listened to machines beeping my pulse, I could calm myself and make my pulse rate slow down a little. And apparently this is something called "biofeedback" that's not fully understood. I mean, I think it's mysterious to scientists why people can slow their pulse just by thinking about it.
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
"Neal Miller, a psychology Ph.D and neuroscientist who worked and studied at Yale University, is generally considered to be the father of modern-day biofeedback. He came across the basic principles of biofeedback while doing animal experimentation conditioning the behavior of rats. His team found that, by stimulating the pleasure center of a rat's brain with electricity, it was possible to train them to control phenomena ranging from their heart rates to their brainwaves. Until that point, it was believed that bodily processes such as heart rate were under the control of the autonomic nervous system and not responsive to conscious effort."
It doesn't actually suggest a reason, it just notes the phenomenon exists, and that it's sometimes thought to have therapeutic applications.
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Its interesting none the less... maybe they'll start zapping electricity through our brains to make us obey... obey... OBEY!
Comment by Adrian
Philosophy Blog
To clarify the situation just a bit more, I'd been injected with some substance that was supposed to have the side effect of making my heart rate increase. The doctors were surprised when it didn't increase that much.
The situation of worry is similar. In worry, your adrenalin kicks in and prepares you to do something. So adrenalin is like a drug that's supposed to increase your heart rate. And it's possible to calm yourself by changing your thinking.
But one difference is this: in worry, you've got a specific thing to change your thinking about. You might calm yourself by telling yourself that your fears are unfounded. Whereas with drugs injected into the body, you can't change your thinking as easily. It's more a matter of... of some mysterious other thing, like being conscious of your body's workings.
This topic -- biofeedback -- has been studied in relation to Indian yogi, who apparently can change their body temperature and pulse rate at will...
Comment by Ahmed
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Thats just my theory, not basing it on any actual medical proof, though it fits in nicely with the whole yoga thing