Love and abasement
October 3rd 2006 06:32
When you're in lust or love with someone, there are perhaps three main reasons, all things being equal, that incline you to serve them, or to abase yourself before them:
1) The official nice reason: because you care about them so much, because you want them to be happy, etc.;
2) The unofficial main reason: because it's simple commerce; you're nice to them, and expect, or are aiming at, reciprocation or sex;
3) An extremely common reason: plain conditioning; just as beauty frequently commands service by reason of conditioning alone.
It's unlikely that anyone will escape all three pressures entirely, although, as Ferris Bueller points out, you can never respect someone who kisses your butt.
In fact, it’s well known, and commonly used as a pre-emptive device in movies, that indifference is alluring (and the hero later conquers the bitch), in the same way that Estella was irresistible to Pip.
1) The official nice reason: because you care about them so much, because you want them to be happy, etc.;
2) The unofficial main reason: because it's simple commerce; you're nice to them, and expect, or are aiming at, reciprocation or sex;
3) An extremely common reason: plain conditioning; just as beauty frequently commands service by reason of conditioning alone.
It's unlikely that anyone will escape all three pressures entirely, although, as Ferris Bueller points out, you can never respect someone who kisses your butt.
In fact, it’s well known, and commonly used as a pre-emptive device in movies, that indifference is alluring (and the hero later conquers the bitch), in the same way that Estella was irresistible to Pip.
| 86 |
| Vote |
Add To: 
